A Republican in Colorado fell flat on his face trying to steal campaign signs touting John Kerry and other local Democratic candidates.

According to Wheat Ridge Police spokesperson Officer Lisa Stigall, Randal Wagner was already wanted for questioning about a rash of campaign-sign thefts when he was discovered lying unconscious across a stolen sign Oct. 13.

Earlier that evening, a homeowner reported to police that he saw Wagner, 50, cutting down a campaign sign bolted to his fence. The sign was in support of a local Democratic candidate running for Congress.

The man confronted Wagner, who allegedly fled in a truck with his wife. The man gave the vehicle's plate number to police.

While police located the Wagners' home, Wagner was busy at work on another sign put up by a store in the business district, Stigall said.

But he encountered resistance.

"He already had the sign in hand and was running out of the parking lot when he tripped over a low chain that blocked off the driveway," Stigall said.

Wagner fell flat on his face and was knocked unconscious. His wife, unaware of his accident, remained in the car.

An officer driving by noticed the figure lying on the ground and called for an ambulance. Wagner was treated for cuts and abrasions to his face.

Police discovered two dozen campaign signs in the back of the couple's truck and issued Wagner a summons for theft, trespassing, criminal tampering and disorderly conduct.

The outcome of the presidential race won't be the only thing keeping Wagner on his toes in November. He's scheduled to appear in court Nov. 22 to find out if he'll receive jail time.

As far as settling old scores go, Josh Edwards and Robert Taylor can consider themselves even.

Police in La Porte City, Ind., say three years ago, Taylor identified Edwards as the culprit behind a rash of moped thefts. For giving up his friend, he received $100. But when the duo recently partnered up for a failed heist, Edwards returned the favor.

According to La Porte Detective Clyde Crass, Edwards, 19, and Taylor, 21, tried to steal stereo equipment from a roller rink Oct. 15. Taylor allegedly gained entry into the building after breaking a basement window, but Edwards developed cold feet and refused to follow his partner.

Alone in the basement, Taylor became nervous and tried to leave the building, but was unable to reach the window, which was eight feet off the floor, Crass said.

Taylor attempted to exit the building through the garage door but triggered the security system. He managed to scramble up to the window, where Edwards helped to pull him out of the building. However, in the process Edwards dropped his cellphone at the scene.

Police were able to trace the phone to Edwards, who quickly gave up his accomplice and one-time informant. When interviewed, Taylor admitted to the break-in attempt, Crass said.

The men were charged with criminal mischief and trespass, and also paid for repairs to the damaged window.

Larry Miller thinks he got a raw deal.

When the wheelchair-bound man robbed a Florida bank, he got only $200 of the $1500 he demanded. Not only was he vocal about his disappointment, he also had a theory about his less-than-rewarding heist.

According to Miami Police Lieutenant Bill Schwartz, Miller, 42, wheeled himself into a Pan American Bank Sept. 21 and told the bank manager he wanted to set up an account. As the manager gathered documents, Miller placed a brown paper bag on the desk.

A note scrawled on the bag read, "Robbery put the money bag 1500."

Miller then allegedly realized that managers don't keep money at their desks. He reportedly took the note and rolled himself towards the teller instead.

"I imagine that [Miller's] not a Rhodes scholar," Schwartz said.

The teller complied with the suspect's demand, but when Miller was about to exit the bank, he discovered that the teller had only given him two $100 bills.

Schwartz said Miller became agitated and began cursing. He tossed his note to the ground and continued to utter expletives as he made his way towards the train station, where he was easily apprehended.

"It's just not fair," Miller reportedly complained. "On TV, the white bank robbers get $1500. It's only because I'm black that I get $200."

This was not the thwarted robber's first unlucky caper.

According to Schwartz, Miller tried to rob a store with a gun in 1987, but the store owner wrestled the gun away and shot him. The injury left Miller unable to walk and confined to a wheelchair.

Miller has been charged with strong armed robbery for the bank heist.

Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors , a weekly feature of Courttv.com, is reported by Tinuola Awopetu

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