Do you own any mittens? Do you have any minions? Would you make mittens out of your minions? If your answer to these questions is "no" you must be Jack the Ripper, according to the Evil Criminal Test on rumandmonkey.com.

Diabolical, name-stealing rocker Marilyn Manson

That's right. Take a 16-question quiz and learn the answer to that burning question: if you had to be an infamous "evil criminal," which would you be?

To find out, you must answer questions ranging from the obvious "Do you live for nefarious wrongdoings?" to the less obvious "Have irritating sub-Ziggy Stardust glam rockers named themselves after you?" (a reference to Marilyn Manson, the controversial singer who took his name from Marilyn Monroe and the serial killer Charles Manson). And some inexplicably refer to mittens and minions.

The Evil Criminal Test follows no discernible method in deciding which of history's evildoers the test-taker most resembles. For instance, when this reporter completed the quiz answering "yes" only to the questions "Do you enjoy 'Suddenly Susan'?" (the recently canceled TV sitcom starring Brooke Shields) and "Do you just love shopping at the Gap?" the test deemed her Imelda Marcos, the infamous, shoe-loving wife of the late Phillipines dictator who the site says "spent billions of dollars of money stolen from the Filipino population; theft that lead to extreme poverty."

While Imelda Marcos remains almost universally despised by the international community, one wonders what source the creators of rumandmonkey.com used to decide that she is a "Suddenly Susan" fan when the body of evidence would point to her as a watcher of "Veronica's Closet"?

Whatever its accuracy, the Evil Criminal Test gets one's attention. According to Ben Werdmuller, one of the site's three creators and the person who writes most of the tests, the Evil Criminal Test has been taken about five million times since it was put online a year ago.

Cruel shoe-lover Imelda Marcos

According to Wermuller all three of Rum and Monkey's founders are recent graduates of Scotland's University of Edinburgh and in their early 20s. Most of the site's audience, Werdmuller estimates, are between 13 and 20 years of age, an age group that has a historically tendancy to be suspicious of the establishment.

This might explain the decision to include former U.S. President Harry S. Truman and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger as two of the seven possible "evil criminal" outcomes.

Werdmuller says that their inclusion was not necessarily a political statement.

"Our aim was always to promote conversation in the journals and weblogs that feature the test as well as to provide a quick distraction," he wrote to Courttv.com.

Harry S. Truman, former president of unspecified infamy

The test implicates only one other former head of state. Its description of Augusto Pinochet, the Chilean dictator who was saved from an international trial by his failing health, notes that in 1990 Britain's prime minister thanked Pinochet for his help in the Falklands War. The Web site sums the general up as "Thatcher's bosom buddy."

Werdmuller admits that the site's main attraction lies in its success at diverting and amusing people.

"We like to think that the (mostly satirical) articles are the main focus of the site," he wrote to Courttv.com. "But in fact the tests and toys are vastly more popular."

It seems that those who are offended by the Evil Criminal test and some of the other tests on the site such as, "Which Genocidal Maniac Are You?" and "Which Famous Homosexual Are You?" have even been incorporated into Rum and Monkey's consciousness.

Beneath the site's official logo (which changes from page to page­) this catchphrase sometimes appears: "We make those [expletive] tests you hate so much."

More Caught on the Web